Pastoral visiting in its many forms

On Wednesday Nicki Dufour was in the office helping her mom, Sandy Stone, do some sorting through of old photographs. She is doing a little community service for us. It works well for us right now because we have a lot of little projects going on. We are in the middle of stewardship season, we are working on Thanksgiving, Advent and a farewell celebration and that means lots of loose ends to tie up.

We also have a wedding in the church on Friday night and i met with the photographer and the bride for a few minutes to show them the sanctuary. The bride is Danyelle White. Her grandfather, Pastor Henry Barry, is going to perform the service. I needed to go over some of the logistics with them.

At noon I traveled down to Essex for a meeting of the SUNL Association clergy. We talked about upcoming events in the region like the Habitat Build in Jewett City. We had lunch and then shared stories about our experiences with weddings and funerals. It was filled a more than a few laughs. (Watch out funniest home videos!)

I cam home along the shore and tried to stop in to visit a few church members but no one was home. Visiting in the homes today is much more difficult than it was when I began twenty seven years ago. No one is home and today it is always best to make an appointment. Of course a lot of people simply do not want a home visit. They are too busy and it disrupts their schedule. I will always stop in though, if someone asks me to make a visit.

I've heard it said a couple of times that people know I am busy and they don't want to bother me. I try to tell them that it is never a bother. If you need a visit, let's make an appointment and I'll be there. The same thing is true with the hospital. Years ago I used to stop in at Backus four or more times a week to check and see if anyone was on the list. We don't have a large congregation so most of the time I would check in and we had no one in the hospital. Some times I would stop in and because of the shorter hospital stays, the person would have already gone home. So now I try to let everyone know to call me if you are going into the hospital and I will visit you. Call if you want prayer before an operation or a test or a procedure. I'll flip my schedule around to make a visit.

Years ago my mother was going through a difficult time and I just happened to call her. Her father was terribly sick and she was worried. When I called her she noted that our pastor hadn't come by to visit. She told me he always seemed to show up when she needed him. Being in seminary at the time, I asked the question: "Did you call him?" She replied, "No. He just seems to know and shows up." That scared the death out of me.

It is a tremendous expectation that many of us in the clergy have to live up to. People expect us to know when they are sick, worried, afraid, about to lose their job, on the brink of a break up and to be there when they need a prayer or a little time with Jesus. The truth is that sometimes, and I hate to admit it, but those of us in the ministry are a little self consumed or busy with our own stuff and we need prodding. We get caught up in sermon preparation or community ministries or our own pet projects. The only person I would suspect that never fell into that pit was Mother Theresa. The rest of us are only human.

So whether you belong to First Baptist or some other church, make sure you call the pastor or priest if you need prayer or if you need a visit. I'm sure they will make time for you. The truth is that after making two stops where people weren't home, I ended up visiting a man who had called yesterday morning and wanted a visit. Then I headed back to church to get ready for our Wednesday evening service.