A wedding story

She came into the office in tears. Her wedding is four months away and now her relatives are giving her grief for choosing to have a cake and punch reception at the church following her reception. One of her fiance's sisters said that it was inconsiderate of her to expect them to drive all the way in from Colchester to attend the wedding if they didn't get a meal out of it. Another relative criticized her for not having alcohol for the party. Someone even had the audacity to suggest that since they were going to be receiving gifts, they should make sure the meal was equal or greater to the price of the average gift.

As she shared these comments I actually got mad. I couldn't believe that family members could be so shallow and selfish, so thoughtless and rude. I recommended she go ahead with her plans and take notes on who it is who really care for them because most of these people giving her grief don't deserve her attention.

It is one thing to want to be helpful, to want more for your brother or sister. It is another thing to inflict your own selfish desires into another's plans for their wedding happiness. I told her to suggest these relatives help finance the big meal. If they really cared about them, then it would be a no brainer.

I don't know what is going to happen. I am praying for this couple. The truth is that when it comes to wedding planning, there is no right and wrong. Each of us has to look at our finances and determine the best use of them. The ceremony is the most important part and that is the least expensive part. That's where I would put my money. I told this young women, who even got grief from her mother, (who wasn't willing to pay for anything although that is the traditional role of the mother of the bride) that some of the best wedding receptions I have been to were at rented halls with pot luck food. The reason was simple the food was good and the people who came really loved the couple and wanted to make their day the best day ever.

So if you want to know which of your family and friends really care about you, try planning a wedding. You will find out in a hurry.

Cal